Fertility Coaching With Tamar

Dear Sister,

It’s time for you to be heard and understood. It’s time for you to get emotional and spiritual support on your journey to motherhood. Maybe things haven’t turned out the way you had hoped or expected. Perhaps you haven’t been able to get pregnant. Perhaps you haven’t been able to stay pregnant. Perhaps you’ve experienced more than one loss. Perhaps you’ve discovered things about your body and health that brought you to your knees. Your situation feels like a prison. It’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep.

You feel detached, less than whole. You’re constantly searching for the answer to “Why?” You feel like time is running out. You feel powerless. You feel emotionally and socially isolated, especially with your friends who are pregnant and/or new moms. The month to month or “two week wait” is agony. You wonder if you deserve to be a mother. Everything else in your life is on hold.

Everyone and everything tells you to relax. The doctors tell you to relax, the science tells you to relax, your friends tell you to relax. None of this helps your heart. Knowing that you should relax isn’t enough because you can’t relax.

You want to get and stay pregnant. You may also want to be open and accepting of other paths to motherhood. But what you also want right now is to leave this pain behind. You want to clear away the intense turmoil and misery so that you can create space for new life in your life.

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I understand. I had three miscarriages in the space of eight months. During that time over fifteen of my friends became pregnant and/or gave birth.

 

Some of the things I said to myself (maybe you relate to these)
  • “Why them and not me?”
  • “It’s so easy for other people”
  • “What’s wrong with me?”
  • “When will I get my turn?”
  • “Why can’t one thing be easy for me?”
  • “Don’t get too excited” (at the beginning of the second and third pregnancies)
Some of the things I felt:
  • Anger at my body, at the Universe
  • Shame: the feeling of being “defective” and that it was my fault
  • Exhaustion: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
  • Grief from the losses
  • Fear that I’ll never get what I want
  • Resignation that it won’t happen the way I’d hoped
AND, some of the things and ideas I learned along the way and began to implement were:
  • Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional
  • Writing and talking about my experiences is deeply healing
  • There is a vibrant, intelligent, compassionate and diverse community talking, writing and supporting others around infertility and pregnancy loss
  • Joy can coexist with pain
  • I will never be “out of the woods”, except in my mind
  • Emotion is simply energy in motion: it can and needs to be moved via physical movement, expression (art, talking, writing) or crying
  • Surrender is not just a buzzword, but a necessary multi-layered practice to be applied with consistency
  • The gift in these experiences, as my greatest life curveball, is that I now have the personal experience and the tools to support other women who are dealing with similar challenges

So, why would you choose to invest in Fertility Coaching when you may already be spending time, money and energy on:

  • Fertility Specialists (Reproductive Endocrinologists)
  • Acupuncture
  • Traditional Chinese Medicine
  • Nutrition experts
  • Books
  • Internet research
  • Support groups
  • And more…

Because all of it matters on your path to motherhood: your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. They all affect each other.

venndiagram

Fertility coaching with me on a weekly basis does two things:

1) Addresses and process the “big-ticket” pain you’re more than aware of and dealing with on a daily basis: the anger, shame, exhaustion, grief, fear and resignation.

2) Clears the “dust.” The dust is what I like to call the stuff that sneaks in when you’re not paying attention. It’s the stuff that people say to you, the stuff you read, the stuff you picked up from when you were a child and has been grooved into deep-seated neural pathways in your brain. It’s the stuff you don’t decide to think or believe. It’s just there, deposited without your conscious permission. It’s your subconscious thoughts and beliefs. And it’s powerful. In fact, your subconscious thoughts and beliefs affect your physiology and biochemistry. In other words, your subconscious thoughts and beliefs affect your fertility.

I’ll give you an example of some dust from my own life. Once, my fertility doctor said to me “Only 10% of your eggs are viable at your age.” I know she meant well. But she was not speaking about my specific eggs, because there is no way of her knowing the exact percentage of “good eggs” I still have without harvesting my actual eggs (which had not been done). Of course there are good indicators that doctors use such as your levels of Anti-Mullerian hormone (or your ovarian reserve) or Follicle Stimulating hormone, but my doctor was literally speaking about statistics for women my age. As we all know, statistics can be helpful, but they also have limited utility. As soon as the remark was made, I made a conscious decision to NOT have that belief seep into my subconscious. Specifically, I did not want to believe the thought “Ninety percent of my eggs are bad.” It’s neither factual, nor useful and I can choose to dissociate from it, which is exactly what I chose to do. But, I easily could have absorbed it, without making a conscious decision.

Coaching allows you to clear that dust AND get better at recognizing the dust before it’s deposited.

rose in SM

You will:
  • Experience a sense of calm and peace
  • Move through pain without suffering (including tools to create time and space to grieve)
  • Transform your beliefs with neural re-patterning
  • Learn how to surrender, in a practical way
  • Rediscover joy
  • Increase self-love and self-compassion
  • Learn how to manage the entire range of your thoughts and emotions, even the fearful, shame-inducing, angry and painful ones
You’ll get:
  • One ninety minute kickoff call via phone or Skype
  • Three sixty minute coaching calls per month (except the first month which will have two sixty minute calls and one ninety minute kickoff call) for six months – a total of 18 coaching calls
  • Access to Tamar via text and email in between sessions
Bonus Features:
  • Connection to other people who understand via group calls, Facebook group, other private clients, local groups and organizations
  • Ninety minute spiritual ritual session
  • Books, recordings and/or other gifts
  • Access to all group programs and events during contract timeframe

Total Monetary Investment: $1100/month for six months or pay $5500 in full and get one month free

If you’ve read this far and you know that this experience and this deep level of support is calling you, I invite you to schedule a call with me by emailing tamar@curveballcoaching.com.

If we are the right fit to work together, I know this experience will prepare your mind, body and spirit on your journey to motherhood, whatever that looks like for you.

With deep love and respect,

Tamar

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