Today, if you were to ask me what my life’s work is – I would say it’s to understand who I really am, and to support others on that path, as well. Put another way, it’s my mantra “I heal myself and others by being who I am.” Sounds easy, right?
Yeah, not so much. What I’m realizing more each day is that it’s about being really honest with yourself and with others about what is true for you. And that’s a process that never ends. There is never a stopping point when you have finished with the honesty, when you have finished excavating, when you have all the answers. In some ways this makes me really sad, but in other ways it’s liberating.
I’ve written here and here about some health challenges I’ve faced in the recent past. These challenges are not “solved.” My weight is still higher than what I’ve considered “ideal.” My energy could use a boost. Blah Blah Blah. That’s sums up how I feel talking about this stuff. Like it’s old news, it’s boring and I just am tired of it. But the truth is, it’s not that it’s old news it’s that I haven’t wanted to talk about it or think about it because there’s a part of me that that felt like a fraud – as a wellness and transition specialist who maybe doesn’t look like one.
And yesterday one of my coaches asked me, essentially, “Doesn’t look like one to whom?” I had said to Terry that without looking a certain way, I felt like a fraud. But what I realized in the middle of that coaching session is that it had nothing to do with looking like a fraud to anyone else but myself. That if anyone really called me a fraud, I would have great arguments as to why that’s simply not true.
What hadn’t shifted however, is my own self-concept. So, here’s what my inner wisdom told me yesterday with the support of a phenomenal coach: It does’t matter that I don’t fit into many of the clothes in my closet. It does matter that I feel comfortable in my own skin. When I feel comfortable in my own skin, I’ll move through the world differently. And guess what? Skin is flexible!!! It’s designed that way for a reason. It stretches when it needs to, it contracts when it needs to. It’s elastic. Over a lifetime, skin changes from the soft and supple quality and texture of a baby’s to the wrinkled delicate quality of a person who’s lived many many years. Is it possible for my self-concept or self-image to be flexible too? (Yes) Is it possible for my attitude to be adjusted similarly? (Yes)
One of my greatest strengths is adaptability. And, so what’s so different about adapting in this way? Because the truth is, my body is as flexible as it needs to be – it’s my attitude that hasn’t caught up. I absolutely do not have this all figured out. And not sure I will ever have it ALL figured out. But I’m committed to increasing the flexibility, the elasticity of my attitude more and more, every day.
One of the ways I get motivated to continue on this path is to connect with others who are totally dedicated to discovering what’s true for them and committed to being exactly who they are, no matter how difficult it is or how many obstacles are in their way. I know you’ll want to join me next Tuesday, September 10, at 12:30 pm Pacific/3:30 pm Eastern for Call #3 in my Transformation Teleseminar Series with Diana Fontanez. Register here for the call and either join us live on 9/10/13 or get the recording.
On this eve of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana, I wish all of you the freedom and the strength to commit to this path, to feel into what’s true for you, and to develop a more flexible and elastic attitude towards yourself and others. Happy New Year!